Cut the Shit

Weekend from Heaven

Man alive! What a great and perfect weekend I had! Serioso! Most of my weekends are pretty good, but this one in particular was absolutely fanfuckingtastic.

My parents and brother drove in to town around 4pm on Friday and the festivities began right away. A vodka/red bull for my brother, my mother, and myself – a glass of white zinfandel for the popski. My brother and I gave my parents their anniversary gift (2 tickets to see Frankie Valli and the 4 Seasons at Mohegan Sun – hotel and dinner included). They LOVED the gift and then proceeded to give US Valentines gifts that were actually better than the anniversary gifts we gave them. Go figure. Those parents of mine…never cool just having a day for themselves. They’re overboard generous.

We stayed up until 5am playing games and music and laughing our asses off. My parents brought down the family dog (a long haired dachshund named “Bizmark”). Tyler and Bizmark got along famously and we even caught them sitting in the corner french kissing. No joke! They were totally licking each other on the inside of the other dog’s mouth. It was sick and beautiful all at the same time. Paul got home from work around 1am and made us sandwiches. The night ended with us watching Lindsay Jacobellis ruin the Gold medal in Snowboarding. I have never seen anything more hilarious in my entire life. My brother was making the funniest jokes on the planet, replete with voiceovers, and I sat there laughing so hard a couple drips of pee came out.

Other than going on a pretty basic dinner date on Saturday night, I found the time to watch 5 movies. I rank them in the following order (best to worst):
Reservoir Dogs
Murderball
Wedding Crashers
Zathura
Red Eye

They were all excellent, with the exception of Red Eye. I’m not quite sure I understand why everyone was going on and on about that movie. It was pretty predictable and not very suspenseful. But somehow the rest of the world seems to LURVE it, so maybe I missed something. I don’t think I’ll watch it again to figure that out tho.

Yesterday, Paul and I got showered and went on the gay bar tour of the West Village. We hit all the old haunts: Duplex, Monster, Stonewall…It was freezing outside, so the numerous glasses of wine totally hit the spot. I have to say, Paul and I had the most amazing day yesterday. We were laughing our asses off from the moment we woke up until the moment we went to bed. Usually we don’t drink well together and end up getting into one fight or another. But yesterday, even as we sat buzzed at dinner, I looked at him and just loved him all over again. He’s an amazing guy and I think that if he actually works through some of the heartache that he’s dealing with, he might turn out to be the exact guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t know…it’s a lot to think about today, so I’m just going to say one more time – we had the absolute time of our lives yesterday.

For some reason, both Paul and I were awake at 4:30am this morning. We lay there quietly until about 5:30am when we finally realized that we were both dealing with insomnia. I almost pissed myself when the clock struck 6am and I hear Paul say out of nowhere “So what do you want for dinner tonight?” I looked over at him and was like “HAHAHAHA. I DON’T KNOW!”

Well it was really funny at the time. But never as funny as watching Lindsay Jacobellis try to do a trick at the end of her medal qualifying snowboard race. Holy shit what a botard.

My hands are really dry today and my fingertips are actually sliding off the keyboard. That’s weird. And also erotic.

I joined Netflix for a temporary free trial. It’s working out well and all, but I can’t figure out how to open the package without destroying the return envelope. It’s maddening. I’m really bad at those “Tear along the perforated edge” instructions. I just end up ripping the whole thing open and then standing there like a 2 year old. Netflix is getting the best of me. But just you wait! I’ll get the best of them by quitting the service before the trial runs out. Take THAT perforated edges!

If you haven’t seen this already, then let me introduce you to the funniest thing ever created on the net: Monk E Mail. Send this to all your friends and reap all the benefits of being the first person to show it to them.

Here’s to all of us having a spectacular week!